My name is Terry and this is my blog. 
09/10/2005: "Goodbye, girl"
music: silencemood: hushed
Last week, I called Francis to catch up and confirm that he received an email regarding some books I needed sent over. He told me that I should call mom right away, breaking the news to me that the family had to put the family dog, Snowflake, to sleep after months of illness.
What followed was maybe the 2nd worse phone call to my mother, the first being the time I was in Chicago and was told that Dad had his first heart attack. When the phone was handed to my Mom, she was very distraught, voice breaking, crying at the mention of "girl" (as my father affectionately called her).
It broke my heart to hear my mom tell me that she cried everytime she opened the door to find Snowflake "not there" over the following days. In a strange twist of fate, I found myself being the parent, the friend, telling my mom that it would be okay, that it was alright to mourn, that she should remember to eat, that it wasn't her fault, that it was the best thing and that Snowflake is no longer sick.
Later, I cried thinking of that last moment when my mom had to hand her over. I wonder what the last words were, whether they were spoken in my mother's gentle Vietnamese or in her broken English. I cannot fathom what the drive home must have been like for her.
While I was not as close to Snowflake as Francis and my parents were, I don't look forward to what it will be like the next time I go home. I loved walking Snowflake around the neighborhood in the winters. I'll miss it for sure, but nowadays, I miss a lot of things. You have no fucking idea of what it's like.
Rest in peace, girl. Mom, Dad, Francis and I loved you very much.
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