09/30/2005: "Failed Epic"

mood: Tickled Fancy

[Nota Bene: Please check this post in a few days as it will be updated with new information, links, colors, pictures, treasures. The gist is here, however. It's 2 am, so grammar and speeling wil be combed through again in the morning. SOME PICTURES HAVE BEEN TAKEN DOWN FOR EDITING PURPOSES]

What was it I saw in New York? /I'm not the same no more

As you may have read a few entries back, my plan for this weekend was to go to the Austin City Limits Festival, where I was to jump up and down to the likes of the Arcade Fire, Coldplay, Oasis, and Rilo Kiley. I was planning on going with my good friend Jason and we were to meet our college buddy Liam there, who was flying in from New York City. The anticipation was building all last week, but by Wednesday anxiety kicked in as Hurricane Rita decided to put Texas in its crosshairs. All of our flights were stopping in Houston. By Thursday they were all cancelled. That was when Jason and I came up with the brilliant plan of visiting Liam in NYC.

What follows is an unstructured/structured account of our time in New York City. In Media Res.

How will I hide these feelings inside

For the last week or two I felt like things were turning upside down. I was at an extreme low point and desperately needed a good rejuvenation. I made it a point to make this trip feel like a vacation, pack in as many activities as possible, make an effort to see a few people, but set no expectations. This has been a year of major letdowns, but in my mind, I think those evacuating Houston were in a worse position.

Call my girl on the phone.

Neon lights shine bright/Taxi cabs glide by

One of the downsides of living in Los Angeles is the fact that I have to drive everywhere for everything. The beauty of living in DC was that I got a healthy walk before I went into work, via Metro. Liam was a great guide in taking us to different neighborhoods places and that’s how we spent our Saturday.

Times Square – where we got a tour of his office. He showed us some of the stuff he was working on. A light saber was sitting on his desk and I asked him what that was all about. He then proceeded to show off his light saber skills via this cheap video game console that was hooked up to his broadcast monitor. Jason and I spent a good 20 minutes watching pant and heave as he swung at droids and battled Anakin Skywalker.

West Village – I scored some corduroy blazers at a thrift store on St. Mark’s. When I was trying them on, the sales associate kindly pointed out that they were women’s blazers. I knew this. The problem with me is I have the physique of a twelve-year-old boy. I’m about a 28 waist size and I come in about a buck ten, maybe twenty. I lost a good deal of weight over the last couple of months. Anyway, the blazer’s fit well, and he went on to explain why the buttons were on the left side. Something to do with Victorian tailoring traditions.

Liam and Jason thought the guy was gay. I saw it as one metrosexual helping another metrosexual out.

Midtown – Went to H&M. It’s the perfect store for me as they sell small sizes that actually fit. I bought a sweater and a proper male blazer. Jason decided to buy a blazer too, taking the cue from me. I’m going to make him sew his buttons on the left side.

Chinatown – While walking home to Liam’s apartment we walked through a street fair. The world’s smallest horse was on display for a dollar.

Aeroplanes they fly, high up in the sky

On the JetBlue flight into JFK, I was able to catch up on all the TV I was missing out on as I don’t own a television. The rundown - Laguna Beach (fucking excellent). My Sweet Sixteen (those girls are CRAZEEEE!). A VH1 special on ethnic stereotypes presented by Egotrip (the brilliant collective behind “The Greatest Rap Lists Book.”) I even saw a commercial that my company produced (EA Games commercial wear the guy is going through his super hero underwear). The best show was Rocked! the documentary about Sum 41’s trip to the Congo and their near death experience. It actually made me cry.

Our flight took off at 7 am and while it would have been wise for me to get some sleep, it was damn near impossible because Ms. Window Seat decided to bring her small dog, which yelped and clawed around underneath her seat the whole time. I was surprised that Jason was not more rude to her.

Pretty girl says "Hi...”

What's the worst job you've had?

Friday afternoon after we had landed and got some good pizza I found out that my company’s sales rep lived near Liam so I paid her a surprise visit. After telling some off-color jokes and embarrassing myself in front of Jason and Liam, she kindly showed us the door. Sike! She was very surprised and grateful for my visit. My boss even paid me props for taking the time to visit. (N.B. to Jason and Liam – she took no offense to the “shirt” joke).

Oh, alright - I’ll explain what happened. So we were all there in the office talking about Austin, as she went to school there. We were chatting for a good 20 minutes and the time had come to say good-bye. She said that she had some more work to do and that we should go on with our drinking. The I said, “Yeah, I’m sure you have some important calls to make. Some jobs to book, some commission to make. The more work you bring in the more money we get. I mean, in a financially-technical way my livelihood depends on you.”

Then I said - “Do you like my shirt? You should. You paid for it.”

I’m sure Liam had his fist clenched, cocked, just waiting to punch me on the arm for that one, but like I said – she took no offense and like I said, it was a joke. Please believe me when I say I am trying to rid the habit of dry wit and sarcasm.

What do you read?/What's driving you mad?"

One person that I made an effort to meet up with was my fellow Viet Kieu Andinh, who I had met whilst working on the set of American Knees. We had made a plan to meet on Sunday afternoon. When I called him, he was in Chinatown having lunch with his girlfriend Denise, so he suggested just chilling at a coffee shop in Soho. When I asked Liam for a nearby coffee shop where we could hang out and chat, he suggested “Central Perk.” I then asked Andinh if he could meet us at Central Perk, but by then Liam , Jason and his roommates could not contain their laughter and I realized too late that I fell for one way too easy.

We ended up meeting Andinh and Denise at the Coffee Pot, which was within walking distance for both parties. What followed was an intellectual roundtable on the subjects of karaoke, skeeball, film school, leotard factories, high bowling scores, the One –L, the Socratic Method, XPLOZION, and how much better a Journey song will sound after a break-up. Andinh and Denise are both students and it got me thinking that I should take a more conscious effort to get things done/learn something new everyday/take some classes/be autodactic/read the newspaper daily. Something to that effect.



I like this photo because Andinh and Denise are ignoring the fact that I have asked them to be in a photo with me.

Met the cigarette girl- took a note of her charms/But no cigar

The Ace Bar is located on 5th Street between Ave A and B. On Monday of this week Gawker reported that Scarlett Johannson and Josh Hartnett were seen there on Friday, Sept. 23.

From Gawker:

“They were quiet and came in for a drink, played some games. Scarlett was amazed that the manager allows people to bring their pets in, as she was playing with some random pooch and saying how cute it was. Everything was cool until stalkers started cornering her and Josh, sitting by them when there was like an entire bar full of stools and seats”

If Scarlett and Josh were in fact there - Liam, Jason and I would have never known as we spent the whole night at the Ace Bar playing skee ball and hitting on some girls that were working for the Daily News ( Long Island Edition). The best part of the evening was watching Liam harass those who stepped up to the skeeball machine as our friend Jeremy held the high score of 330 early in the evening and Liam was intent on keeping it that way. Most of the people he harassed and belittled were girls. The worst part of the evening was saying goodbye to those girls without exchanging contact info.

On Sunday we went back for more skeeball action. Dani, Monak and Matt B. decided to join us. Here are some pics of Danilanh in action.





And here's a picture of Liam, Monak and Danilanh. Irony.



After these photos were taken, I escorted Dani and Monak to the subway station. Walking past restaurants that I remembered far too well on Houston.

When I rejoined the crew back at the bar we decided to hit up the Lower East Side and bar hop at some establishments that Matt B.knew. We ended up at a near empty bar, but it had some ladies drinking quietly. I unsuccessfully tried to start a conversation with one group of ladies (this was after I was brow-beaten by Liam into doing so).

Well, it wasn’t total failure. I basically asked their opinion about whether a guy could wear a female blazer and not be thought of as transsexual, considering that it fits better than a male blazer would, and that I ask only because my friends over there have been ostracizing me all night. They said that it was perfectly fine and that the blazer actually looked really good on me (they actually touched and tugged at it) and noted that my friends were probably homophobes. I courteously thanked them for their opinion and walked back to my group in failure.

Now it was Jason’s turn to talk to girls, and there were lovely young ladies sitting at the bar. So he goes up there and uses the same conversational piece that I had used, i.e. he talked about MY BLAZER., and from where I could see he seemed pretty animate about why guys should not wear female blazers. I don’t think this went over well with them, but luckily, Matt B. stepped up and said some nice things that made them sit down at our table. Long story short, nothing major happened – we went to another bar and chatted and then said our good byes. The nice thing was both of them were from places that I had either lived or lived nearby (the red-head, a media buyer, grew up in Camp Hill, which was near York, PA and the other girl, a Pilates teacher, was from the No. Virginia area, which was near Bethesda). It made for pleasant conversation.

Met the Indie-Cool Queen/Took me out of the bar/And showed me the scene

Sunday’s dinner was spent with the “Indochine Triad” in Korea town. Before I met Monak, I was approached by a Korean woman attempting to recruit me as a soldier for the Christian front. For five minutes I explained to her that I was still “shopping around.” Monak quickly came and saved me, though she was quick to give me the nudge, as if I was the predator. Trust me, she was not cute and she talked a bit funny.

We met Dani at the restaurant where we had Soon Tofu soup, the Korean works and some beef ribs. Afterwards we had Korean donuts for desert and the best Korean Ginger Tea with pine nuts. We sat by a nearby park and went into our therapy session. It felt like Ithaca. It felt like the world was brand new, like I could, rather, we could start all over again. The experience felt complete.

Here we are exhusted from that experience.



My little girl I can't find/She's five hours behind/ It's the singer not the song/"Something's gone wrong"/ Said the spider to the fly/ Do I like this girl?

I heard that fucker of a song by Neil Diamond twice –once at a bar and the other time whilst walking through a Chinatown street fair. On both occasions they were shitty cover versions. I cannot deny that NYC will always be about her, as Toronto would be about the other one. Somewhere here is a bigger metaphor that I can’t put my finger on ,something to the effect of never being able to escape, haunting, residual, etc.

It's such a big world/I like the tone of her voice/I loved the sound of her voice

When I get back to London from outer space/Will I fall into place?

The last time I visited NYC was back in 2003 when I had visited Liam for his extravagant birthday party. I went with her. The problem with NYC is that a large component of what I know of the city I learned from her. My weakness is I remember everything - Times Square Polaroid’s, Brooklyn candle-lights and sirens. Spiderman at Loews. Gauguin at the Met. Matthew Barney at the Guggenhiem. First kisses. Tight hands leading me through the subways. It’s all very very vivid if I think hard enough.

I realized later at the airport Monday morning that this was the first trip where no one sending me off or waiting for me when I got home.

I'll hold onto my smile/Find my girl in a while/Look myself in the face/Don't know what you see/Am I playing in your movie?/You're in my magazine/ Are you talking to me?/Chickfactor . . . .

Lyrics by Belle and Sebastian printed in homage to what many consider the greatest city on earth. To the city where I first fell in love with her. To the city where I lost a small part of my innocence. To the city that made us feel our age. When she had long hair and spoiled my eyes.. To the birthplace of what was to become both beautiful and complex. To a skyline as fragile I've become.

Raise your glasses.

To New York City. To the possibilities of love.

(thank-you Liam, Jason, Mary F., Nick, Marianne, Katie, Jeremy, Dennis, Laurel, Katie, Dara, Monak, Danilanh, Andinh, Denise and Matt B. for helping me hit the reset button)

Exeunt.